Decisions

The decisions of motherhood can't really be made in the space of a few hours. Cloth or disposable? Breastfeed or bottle? Co-sleep or cot? Carry or push? Vaginal or Caesarean? Drug-free or load me up?

The last two were decided for me. 
A certain stubborn little miss almost arrived while I was on the toilet [finding out your pregnant, then two hours later thinking you need to poo but quickly realising it's a different kind of push is scary. Feeling your baby's head between your legs is scarer] so a vaginal delivery it was. Thankfully she was tiny [2032g for the curious kittens out there] so I had no tears etc. The placenta was another matter.


As for the drugs? I'd taken OTC pain-killers at home, and had also tried massage, but they don't really help with labour pain! Once at the hospital, and prior to the pregnancy test, I was given a small amount of morphine. When I realised I was giving birth, after asking if my baby would be okay, I asked for pain relief. The response? "There's no time". 

As for the other questions?

Cloth or Disposable

After frequenting a forum for many years and reading about the wonders of modern cloth, I decided that this would probably be the route I would take. However having such a tiny baby, my choices were limited. I ordered prefolds and covers and waited an eternity for them to arrive, using disposables in the meantime. 
By the time the prefolds arrived, she was too big for them [fab]. I bought a couple of MCN's second-hand, to see if I liked using them, and was quickly convinced that cloth it would be. I'm not a 100% cloth girl though - it's generally disposable overnight, because cloth nappies and a 10-14 hour sleep don't necessarily mix well. 
When we go away, it's disposable all the way - I'd rather not tote around a bag full of dirty cloth nappies, and if I'm on holidays, I don't really want to be doing laundry. 

It's a good combo for us, and I find something really satisfying about hanging out a bunch of nappies. 

Breastfeed or Bottle

When I first saw my baby in the NICU, the nurse asked me if I was going to breastfeed. I told her I'd give it a go. I wasn't going to put an insane amount of pressure on either of us to breastfeed, I just wanted to do what worked for the both of us. 
So breastfeeding it was for the first 4-5 months, then we switched to a combo of breast and bottle, now she's all bottle [plus solids, my oh my does she love her solids!]. 

The decision to stop breastfeeding, was a little selfish, I will admit, but I feel so much better for it. I don't feel as exhausted, I don't feel like a cow, and I don't feel like I'm 'sacrificing' quite as much of myself. 
Adjusting to motherhood in such a short time was huge enough. I had to go from single, semi-party girl to mother. I love my girl to bits, but I need to love me too. The chubba has no complaints, and will happily slurp down her bottle. As her personality and cheekiness developed, she seemed to take feed time at the breast as a bit of a play time. Add to that the fact that she really didn't seem full enough and I didn't want to be giving a 4-5 month old three solid feeds per day, and I became completely comfortable with my decision. 
Washing bottles gets a bit tedious, but it feels nice to have that little bit of myself back. I'm sure the chubba appreciates that her mumma feels like she can be herself a bit more too.

Co-sleep or Cot?

When she first came home, she slept in a bassinette for most of the night, then I'd snuggle with her for a few hours in the morning. 

Once we moved to dad's, there was no choice but to co-sleep as I was unable to bring the bassinette down with me. It wasn't so much co-sleeping as sharing a bed. [FYI babies are bed-hogs!] At 4 months, she went into the cot, and she sleeps like a log in there! She averages 12 hours per night. Clearly nothing much fazes my little bublette.

Carry or push?

I like the idea of 'baby-wearing' but I found it hard to get comfortable wearing a sling/backpack, especially when she was tiny. I was worried about how well she was being supported. Then winter came, and I realised slings and things don't work well with the many layers of clothing I tend to wear [weird way to decide or what?] so for the most part she's been pushed. She loves being in the stroller and pram though. 
I'll dig out the sling again now that it's warming up and she's a bit stronger, and see how we go. It would be nice to have two hands free, and to be able to walk through the shops without having to navigate a wheel friendly course!

For such a planner, I think I've done well in my limited time to decide on the best choices for us. In a way, I think it's worked out better for me because I haven't put any unnecessary pressure on myself to do things one way or another.

Now for the big decision, given that it's election day and all ... What party to vote for?

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